Archive for Sunnie

I am so excited I can hardly stand it!

By Crystal Fernandez-Seid · Comments (0)
Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

So we are about a week away from our trip and I am so excited I can hardly stand it! I am so proud of myself that I have kept it a secret from Joel and that I haven’t even hinted. Those of you that know me well know that I am a terrible liar and not very good at surprises. I can keep a secret when it’s important though. I think he’s excited too. I have to work 9 days in a row and then I am off for 6 days! I wish we could stay longer but with work and my girls that’s all I could get away for. It is going to be such an adventure and I am excited to have a few days with Joel that don’t include kids, cooking, cleaning or work. To get to relax and just enjoy being together is going to be such a treat before he heads back to Whitefish in a couple of weeks. I am excited to share an adventure and look forward to many more in the future.

We got to spend most of this last weekend with Darin and Sunnie and we had such a good time. I haven’t gotten a lot of quality time with her in a long time and it was fun to finally get together as 2 couples. We had dinner and hung out and even went out dancing Saturday night. Sunnie and I smiled at each other the next morning as we talked about how happy we are now and how we couldn’t have had so much fun in the past without feeling like we were going to be in trouble later. We laughed our butts off and were our silly selves. It’s so good to be accepted as I truly am. I feel so blessed to have such amazing people in my life. Joel accepts Sunnie and I in our overly honest and crazy state and just takes as we are. He appreciates how close we are and is happy to get right in the middle of it all with Darin.

When we finally rolled out of bed Sunday, after dancing all night and then coming home and playing games until the wee hours of the morning, we headed to my mom’s for some relaxation and visiting. It’s always good to be at Mom’s. It feels like home and all my old memories are there, pictures and stories of what was and the excitement for what is yet to come. My mom loves Joel too, what’s not to love?, and I know she can see a difference in me and is happy about it. She is excited to meet Joel’s parents and might spend Christmas with me in Whitefish this year too. I might even have Joel get her on a snowboard. We visited and watched a movie and as usual time got away from us and we were headed home later than we planned. We did get to go to dinner with Gwen and mom though and that was a nice end to the weekend. Gwen has been through so much yet she is still a pillar of strength and I admire her.

Work has been crazy, 2 more people quit! Leaving us with 3 employees and a new manager that starts today. The 2 girls that quit will be gone at the same time that I leave for my trip leaving 2 people to cover. Oh well maybe they will learn something and start to treat their employees better??? Speaking of work I better get to it. The count down is on! YAY

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Where does time go?

By Crystal Fernandez-Seid · Comments (0)
Monday, October 10th, 2011

Today my sister Kenna turns 30 years old! I can’t believe how fast life goes. The other day I told someone that ” I just turned 30″ but now that Kenna is 30 that means it was 5 months ago! Where does time go and how do I find time to do it all. I want to see everyone that I love and I can’t always squeeze it all in. I had breakfast with Kim, I had lunch with Sunnie and Joel and then stopped at Kenna’s to wish her a happy birthday and then headed to see my Carl after dinner. It’s always a rushed trip trying to see everyone amongst working 6 days this week and I still managed to hurt feelings. I hate that I can’t do it all. I knew that being a single parent, working full-time and having a new relationship was going to be a challenge at times but i just have to remind myself that I am human and at times I will fall short. I thank God for all the support I have. I have such amazing family and friends that are always willing to step up and pick up the slack. I’m not always good at asking for help so I grateful for those in my life who just take charge. Tina called yesterday because she wanted to hang out and help me get my garage organized and get wood. She is so amazing and I never have to ask, she just does. My mom is always there to help with the kids or my puppies or whatever she can. She has been my example of doing it all. She too battled through as a single mom and did her best to meet all of our needs and wants while working full-time. During my last hospitalization she drove up and got the kids and played super mom, horse caretaker and photographer to ensure that my episode didn’t affect Rilynn’s opportunity to have her very first Rodeo. Even though I was sad I couldn’t be there I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else there besides my mom. I knew the girls were in good hands. Then there’s Brian. The one that is constantly gentle, pushing me to set the standard but without completely over doing it. He likes to keep me motivated and is ALWAYS there when I need him to pick up girls or hang pictures. My Sunnie. My constant daily reminder that even though I am damaged and broken that she thinks I am unstoppable. She and I share a heart and a set of lungs at times I swear. The weird ESP that we have with each other is unbelievable. My girls, They remind me each day what love is supposed to be. They teach me each day new things and to be patient. I work hard to ensure that I can learn things to ensure I raise them in a way that I can be proud of and they inspire growth in me each day. The rest of my friends and family that care so much about me. They are always there for me, when I look back at the efforts of Matt and Brandy. My Dad, Mom and Norma(and all the Seid’s) Kayla and Joey and all that they have done for me I am overwhelmed with emotions. I have such amazing gifts in each of them being in my life. Now I have a new gift too, Joel. He keeps me stable, honest and whole. He is my rock and the opposing view of my insanity at times. When I am falling apart at the seams he stands strong and helps me see what really matters. He treats me like a princess with his kindness and he might be one of the most thoughtful people I have ever met. He listens, which is new for me, and he even talks back at times. He is so even-tempered and one of my favorite things is that when I am with Joel I am the real ME. I don’t have to hide the silly side or be worried that he might be offended by some of the off-color conversations that we have in my family. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. I love that I can be silly with Sunnie and Kenna and not be looking over my shoulder to see if I am going to be in trouble later. The last few months have been huge growth for me. I have let go of some old guards that I had up and have learned to trust someone who really has good intentions for me. Sometimes I feel sad and have regrets about my past relationship. I see places where I fell short too, but I know now that I can see where I have learned so much from those experiences and the success that education will bring me in the future. I am excited and grateful to see what the future will be.

Oh and on an even better note both my legs are normal size!!! :)

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The trip (to Florida) was life changing and purely amazing.

By Crystal Fernandez-Seid · Comments (0)
Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

Whew, so a lot has gone on in the last month! So on April 14th, as we were getting close to leaving for our trip I found my self in massive amounts of pain and throwing up to the point that I went in to get some IV fluids and then eventually ended up in the ER with a severe bowl obstruction. They placed a tube down my nose and I spent 3 days trying to get it to clear. Finally I was able to eat a little something and head home in time to pack and head for Florida. The night before I left for Florida I started hurting again and just tried to fight through it. Finally we landed in Florida and headed to my sisters house. I just kind of stayed away from food and tried to get through. Finally by the second day I headed to the hospital just to get checked out before we headed out on open sea. Upon arriving at the hospital they told me that I did have a partial bowel obstruction and that they weren’t sure if it was a new one starting or if it was the old one that hadn’t resolved. They said that if I wanted to stay that they would admit me and tube me again but that they would understand if I wanted to go on the trip. They said they have a great medical staff on board and worst case scenario they would medivac me off the ship. So I went and the first day I felt it kind of “break loose.”

The trip was life changing and purely amazing. We spent our days laying on the beach or by the pool and playing in the crystal clear water. Spending time with Sunnie was exactly what I needed. We just relaxed, ate, shopped got massages at sunset and enjoyed every minute. There were amazing shows and reasons to laugh every day. I can’t imagine it going any better than it did. On the last day I had another bout with bowel obstruction but thanks to the meds they called in for me I was still able to enjoy my time on the cruise and in Miami. On the flight home I began to feel a lot better and was so glad to see my girls!

I had only been home for a few days when I found myself with a giant leg after hockey and headed back to St Lukes in Boise to get it checked out. They assumed it was a blood clot and started me on lovinox shots and IV fluids ect. I got to spend mothers day in the hospital and not with my mother or daughters. They told me that I would be on blood thinners indefinitely until my cancer was gone and that if that was the case I would no longer be able to play hockey. I felt hot tears filling my eyes as I imagined loosing one of the things in my life that I truly love. Finally they did some tests and were unable to find a clot so they started looking to a Cat Scan for an answer. The only thing that they found was that the vessels in my legs look narrow and they assume that the tumors are starting to restrict the blood to my legs. Their solution of course is chemo, but I haven’t decided for sure. It has been kind of a discouraging experience.

Despite it all I try to focus on all the joy I have also experienced and the blessings I would have missed. This morning I had a new niece born and to be here to be a part of it is a great feeling. Tomorrow, I turn 30! A day I wasn’t supposed to see is almost here. I try to hold on and be excited about the possibilities the future could hold.

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Celebrating 30!

By Crystal Fernandez-Seid · Comments (0)
Monday, March 7th, 2011

Celebrating 30! So my cousin Sunnie and I have been saying for years that we wanted to do a Caribbean cruise for our 30th Birthday. Despite going through all the reasons we SHOULDN’T go Sunnie’s wonderful husband told her that time is too precious and that she should go. He said he didn’t want her not to go and regret it later. So we went on a 2 week long search for something we could afford. After hours and hours on the computer I found just the right one. We are going on a 9 night eastern Caribbean cruise leaving out of Miami for $750 per person! That’s taxes and everything. We are so excited and already have our outfits packed for the trip :) It will be an amazing adventure and I am so grateful to be here to see 30! I wouldn’t want to share it with anyone else either. I view life differently now and am all about making memories.

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A lot on my mind the last few days

By Crystal Fernandez-Seid · Comments (8)
Monday, January 11th, 2010

A lot on my mind the last few days. I went in and had a check up with my oncologist and had my blood drawn and my port flushed on Thursday. Dr. Zukerman seemed surprised by my decision to continue to stay off of the chemo and even more surprised and how good my white blood cells and anemia looked. He felt my abdomen for longer than usual and then said “This actually feels really good, can you bring in all the stuff that you are taking? I am very interested.” I was glad to hear that but my holistic Dr. had told me to be prepared for ups and downs and not to be discouraged if it came back slightly higher so when they called me Friday and told me it had dropped to 67 I almost exploded! I was shaking and so excited. Tina and Sunnie were doing cartwheels and my dad held my hand for a while as we took it all in. It was great to have him there when I got the news. The whole trip over to Ephrata (moses lake area) was great. It was just he and I and we haven’t gotten to do that in such a long time. I was so grateful for the quality time and was honored when he said that he was very proud of how I have handled this situation. As a little girl I longed for his approval and couldn’t have gotten it at a better time.

We got to Ephrata around dinner time on Friday and enjoyed a nice dinner with the Munro family and attended the funeral for Sage on Saturday. I feel so deeply for his son as I understand how it is to lose your dad as a kid and to have so many questions. It was overall a very nice trip and Fawn came home with us last night.

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